Press "Enter" to skip to content

Nurse Judy: The times, they are a changin’

Having another birthday has put me in a melancholy mood.

It all started when someone wished me a “happy birthday” and then went on to say I hadn’t changed a bit over the years. This caused me to pause and reflect on my life.

I’m sorry to say that the well-wisher was wrong. I even made a list of “then and now” to prove my point. Of course, Nurse Judy, my critical alter ego, was only too happy to point out the negatives.

Here are some of the unhappy changes I’ve noted. Luckily my poor memory precluded me from having a complete list.

Then: I spent hours shopping to find clothes that showed off my figure.
Now: I spend hours shopping to find clothes that hide my figure.

Then: I had no trouble filling out the form requesting hair color.
Now: I have to look in the mirror before I know what this week’s color is.

Then: I had to tweeze my eyebrows.
Now: I have to tweeze my chin whiskers.

Then: I greeted people by name.
Now: I know they look familiar, but I wonder who the heck they are.

Then: I loved to paint my toenails.
Now: I can’t even reach my toes.

Then: I grabbed my car keys and went for a spin.
Now: By the time I find my car keys, I’m too tired to go anywhere.

Then: I loved to soak for hours in the bathtub.
Now: I soak for hours in the bathtub because I have trouble getting out.

Then: I read ten books in a week.
Now: I reread one paragraph of a book ten times in a week.

Then: I kept my house so clean you could eat off my floor.
Now: You could eat off my floor because it has so much dropped food on it.

Then: My friends and I loved talking about current events.
Now: My friends and I love talking about our medical problems and bodily functions.

Then: Blowing out the candles on your birthday cake was a chance to make a wish.
Now: Your wish is to be able to blow out all those candles without experiencing an oxygen deficiency.

Then: When I went weak in the knees, I was in love.
Now: When I’m weak in the knees, it’s an orthopedic problem.

Then: Birthdays were a time to rejoice and look forward to all the birthdays to come.
Now: Birthdays are a time to rejoice and be thankful you made it through one more year even though “times, they are a-changin’.”

Happy Birthday to me.

More to come,