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Nurse Judy: Cloning

I am a Gemini. That means there are really two of me or two sides of me.

This accounts for Nurse Judy, my live-in alter ego. Sometimes, this is a good thing. I always have someone to blame my mistakes on. Most of the time, however, it is a difficult living arrangement. Nurse Judy constantly criticizes me, costs me a lot of money and does nothing to help out with the everyday tasks of being the head of a household.

As I age it becomes harder and harder to keep up. Take last week for instance. Monday, I wrote, and once at the computer it is a day-long thing. Tuesday I was determined to catch up on my neglected housework. I started in the kitchen, taking out all the furniture. I washed the cupboards and shined the counters. I had the stainless steel sinks and the appliances gleaming.

I scrubbed the floor and adjusted the hanging pots and pans. I did a load of laundry, including the bathroom carpets, while I scrubbed the bathrooms. Wednesday I got my hair done and did my grocery shopping. Thursday, I tackled the front porch.

I removed all the furniture and bleached the concrete. I power-washed the front of the house and still didn’t get all the cobwebs down. I washed the windows and sprayed the furniture before replacing it. I did the ironing. I was exhausted. Friday, I worked at one of my jobs and in the afternoon, processed some scholarship winners’ payments.

Saturday, I cooked, preparing meals ahead for the next week (and, of course messed up my clean kitchen). Sunday was church and then phone interviews for the paper. In the meantime, yard work was neglected. Vacuuming needed to bedone and Nurse Judy was nowhere to be found. It was then I determined I don’t want an alter ego.

I want another Judy, who will help shoulder the load. Next week I have to work all week at my several low-paying jobs and will not be home to continue shaping the place up. I needed to confront Nurse Judy. Before kicking her out, I needed to at least give her the option of pitching in to help or getting axed.

“Which will it be?” I demanded of her. She looked at me like I had lost my mind.

“I guess you’re talking about cloning,” she finally said.

Cloning? I thought about that. That might just be the answer.

“Good Idea,” I said, smiling at her.

“Of course,” she added after a pause, “you might be worse off. Since you’re a Gemini, both Judys would have alter egos and those alter egos might be much worse than I am, plus you’d have two of them to deal with.”

I think about this. Sometimes you are better off with the devil you know.

“Would you help out a little more around the house if I keep you on?” I ask.

“No way,” she was quick to respond, “but I’ll make your life more fun.”

Well, there is something to be said for that.

No one wants to just be a drudge.

More later,



By Judy Conlin