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Nurse Judy’s Nook – My Technical Skills

Every day I struggle with the computer, yet the whole world believes I know how to use one.

“You’re a writer,” they say. “You have to know how to use a computer.”

Ha! I can use the word processor – sometimes even adequately. Nothing else works for me, yet the demands on me are becoming way more than I can handle.

Doctor and dentist offices are the worst. My dentist recently sent me to a specialist.

They called me with an appointment and asked me to go in a patient portal and fill out a history form.

That was an exercise in futility.

I carefully typed in the site. My computer’s security (which I pay a pretty penny for) told me that they were blocking me from using this site. It was not registered as safe.

I called the dentist’s office and they said to just come early and fill out the forms. By now, my blood

pressure was sky high after trying to get into the portal for over a half hour.

I actually can get into the portal for my heart specialist, but once in I can’t make anything work.

I did receive a notice that my next appointment was cancelled.

I called the office to inquire if I was still to get the blood work done for that appointment.

They told me the appointment hadn’t been cancelled. I read the notice to them and they said they couldn’t understand what happened, but my appointment wasn’t cancelled.

I also saw a notice requesting to let them know if I’d had a flu shot on the portal.

There was another wasted half hour. There seemed to be no place to insert a yes. Again, I called the office and told them that, yes, I’d had a flu shot but they didn’t seem to know why I was telling them that.

That portal sure is helpful.

My doctor would also like to see me virtually rather than in his office (maybe other people would like that too).

Apparently they think my phone skills are better than my computer skills. My cell phone does not work at my house because of the trees and the tin roof.

I was informed to just drive onto Tallavana Trail. My cell phone does not work on Tallavana Trail either – just in spots – and I can’t park in the road to have my physical.

They then said to go to the library. The library is closed due to COVID-19.

They finally told me to just come in and see the doctor. After all this my heart probably is not in the best condition for a checkup.

I soldier on.

Every month I get a notice from my bank that my statement is ready online. I try to retrieve it, but my password won’t work.

Every month, I follow their instructions and change it and the next time I need to get in, it tells me my new password is incorrect.

I struggle along changing my password every time I need to access my account.

Finally I call the bank and ask them what is going on.

They told me it was probably because of my cookies and I needed to change them – I did make a lot of Christmas cookies this year, but couldn’t figure out what they had to do with my bank account.

I need to find out more about this, but I have other problems right now.

One of these problems involves my account with Sirius XM.

When I call them up, I cannot

understand what they are saying. I think they are in a foreign country – at least they have foreign accents – and maybe my hearing isn’t perfect, but our conversations are not helpful.

I think I will just cancel the account, but then they send me a flyer with a great new deal that is cheaper than what I was paying and also had a nice prize.

All I had to do was go online and sign up. I went for it.

I answered all the questions and the payment information, then they said they needed to be sure who I was so please put in my Google password.

I did.

I was told that my password had been changed six months ago and I needed to create a new one.

I did.

They then said they needed my cell phone number to message me with the instructions I needed to put in my automobile. I was fearful but hopeful.

Those instructions have never come.

Luckily, I enjoy humming to myself as I drive.

In addition, everyone wants you to order online, pay online….just do everything online.

They say it is a timesaver. They say it saves you money. I don’t believe it.

I haven’t even mentioned what happens when you try to call any of these offices.

You all know you are put on hold until you finally give them your number and their robot says they’ll call you back, but three times out of four, they never do or they make you wait so long that you’ve forgotten what you were calling about.

Ah yes, I live in the digital age but I am from another age.

When I used to call real people on the telephone and when I used to see real people in places of business and when I used to get my bank statements in the mail and when I used to sit at my kitchen

table and write out checks for my bills, I felt in control of my life.

Now I feel like I have no control at all. I am depressed.

Nurse Judy, my never-has-been-in-control alter ego, breezes by.

“Cheer up,” she says. “I ordered one of those KardiaMobiles online for you. You’ll be able to take your own EKGs and send them to your Doctor.”

I slump over. I know how to take a regular EKG but I can’t even imagine what I’ll do with this gadget.

I’ll probably get locked up for mental incompetence and be barred from nursing forever.

More later,
Happy Martin Luther King Day!