Strange things keep happening in my life, and I sometimes fear I am losing my mind.
I would blame it on Nurse Judy, my mischievous alter-ego, but I’m pretty sure even she’s not the culprit.
How could she be sending me text messages and e-mails or leaving weird messages on my phone when she is never out of my sight?
Yet, these strange things keep happening.
At least once a month, I get a phone message that tells me the call is following up on my request for a back brace, a knee support or a hearing aid.
I have never requested these items. I tell this to Nurse Judy.
She denies any involvement in the calls, but is quick to affirm that I very well might be losing my mind. She’s suspected it for a long time.
So much for positive feedback from her!
I get calls regarding my credit card debt (I have none); my student loans (I have none and can hardly remember back to when I was a student); and my home mort- gage (I have none). It is frustrating.
The worst call of all is the one that says there is a warrant out for my arrest by the IRS. I know I pay my taxes but it is still terrifying.
Texts and email messages usually start out in a much more positive way. They usu- ally offer me something nice.
The company I get my computer protection with is no longer able to do business in the United States so they want to give me a refund. All I need to do is send my credit card info and they will give me a refund.
Then there’s the prince or king in some far-away land, who is unable to access his riches at the moment but if I will help him out by sending him some money now, he will reward me later by heaping some of those riches on me.
That sounds really nice to me.
I also get job offers.
If I will accept an assignment and send in a fee, they will reward me by making me
rich. The fee is merely for the paperwork to get started. I could stand being rich but as my mother always said, “If it’s too good to be true, it probably isn’t true.”
So far I have avoided most of these scammers.
Nurse Judy, however, is fascinated by the poor prince out there needing our help. She feels it is worth a little money to reap the rewards he promises.
She sees herself going to spas or on cruises wearing her sparkling wardrobe. She en- visions herself with more shoes than Imelda Marcos.
She keeps egging me on.
“It won’t hurt to send a little money,” she pleads. “Consider it an investment. It can be a good thing to have royal friends. We might get invited to the court. Can’t you just imagine me there? I would be an international celebrity. You have to have vision. A few hundred dollars could be very well spent.”
I let my imagination soar. I can see us whirling around on the dance floor in de- signer gowns. I can see us in exotic places surrounded by fascinating socialites.
We would be adored because we were the ones who saved their prince. I smile to myself before I return to the real world. I really was losing my mind for a moment there.
“I’ll spend my few hundred dollars on a backsplash for the kitchen,” I say.