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Nurse Judy’s Nook: Who’s the Squealer?

The very day my column about needing an intervention for overeating appeared in The Herald, there was an article whose headline was ‘Gadsden County Obesity Rate Soars.’

I couldn’t believe it; was it because Beebe, the cat and I were putting on poundage? (I don’t add Nurse Judy, my self-centered alter ego, here, because she claims she has never gained an ounce since maturity, even though I buy her clothes and their size tells a different story).

Had Beebe and I put our county over the top? This was humiliating news.

As I read further into the article it said the average weight of a Gadsden County woman was 206 pounds.

I waddled to the bathroom scales (I’ve been blaming my waddling on bad knees, but now I fear it may be something else).

With the adipose buildup in my abdomen, I can’t see my toes, let alone the scale dial. Not knowing what I actually weigh is almost as scary as knowing. The article continues to say that the average Gadsden County resident needs to lose 77 pounds. I gasp.

I can remember when my total weight was 77 pounds, even though I was still in high school then. I also can remember that over the many years of struggling with dieting, I had great difficulty in losing even five pounds which I usually regained the next day. How was I ever going to lose 77 pounds?

Concluding that I was a lost cause, I scanned the article for cat statistics. There were none. Just as in my case, however, a visual told the story. Beebe also waddled as he walked and his tummy was bulging.

I comforted him by quoting his vet who said she doesn’t worry about a little fat in a cat the way she does in dogs, but the two of us were still moping as we dragged our heavy bodies around.

Finally I went to a supermarket and when there was absolutely no one around, I climbed on the huge scale at the front of the store. I was relieved that I did not weigh 206 pounds, but I was well over what I should be. I bought some salads and vegetables and vowed to exercise as much as an octogenarian with bad knees could.

Beebe wasn’t allowed in the supermarket but I got him some low calorie cat food and we are trying to adopt a healthier lifestyle. It isn’t easy, but it makes it easier because we feel we aren’t alone. That article has probably gotten folks all over Gadsden County trying their best just like my cat and me. Together, we can all strive to have a healthier community. We may not reach our goals but every pound we lose or any pound we don’t gain is a triumph. We feel good.

Then I have a thought. I hadn’t mentioned I was overweight until the very same day that obesity article was in. Maybe we weren’t included in that survey. Then I had another thought, if I hadn’t written about our weight yet, someone probably did a visual and reported us. I think and think.

We have been sheltering in place. No one has been to our house. Then I remember the mail lady came to our door one day for me to sign for a package. Was she the leaker?

I think back to that day; I answered the door in a huge flowing caftan. My hair was sticking out in all directions. I had no make-up on, but there was a gob of cold cream on my chin.  I had spaghetti sauce stains all down my front. I think I was barefoot, although I couldn’t see my toes.

I am now afraid to look at the paper. The next article may be on the poor grooming of octogenarians in Gadsden County. 

More later, 
Trying to improve, Judy